New Years!

  It's New Years EVE! Another year is about to approach and I can't say 2014 has been terrible. Yes I hope 2015 is better of course. BUT in 2014 we had some awesome memories and good times :). Some of the greatest of all was getting moved (because I hate the whole process) to tri cities and settled. My husband took me while 20 weeks prego to see Britney Spears in Vegas! We had A BABY..sweet Slater came into this world at 4:30pm on July 3rd 2014! He has added so much to this family. My sweet boy Dallas got his glasses and changed his life (he has bad bad vision). My husband and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. My sister celebrated her 1st wedding anniversary. I look back on this year and I feel good about the great times. Halloween, thanksgiving and Christmas were so fun with the kids. Those are just a few of the bigger milestones but I can recall even the sweetest little ones. Tonight we will watch movies and New Year specials on TV, do some games puzzles with Reese and just enjoy it. Jason doesn't work tomorrow :)

  Besides a cake that I will be working on and finishing this weekend, I have some research to do.  I will be starting Dallas on a Gluten/Casein free diet this next week. I only know so far, the basics and really need to know all info regarding at least the firs 2 weeks of the diet.  This is not going to be easy. There is a reason for him going on this diet, and you have to stay %100 true to it. NO slip ups. So with that it will be very hard at first. He can't just accidently grab something and eat it. Once I get this down and get going with it next week I am very anxious to see the possible results. It would be so worth it if we see the results that are possible. It's worth trying at the very least. And Jason and I eat a lot of Gluten free already. I haven't shared the struggles we have gone through in the last 4 months with Dallas. And I probably won't for a while. It has not been easy, in fact this has been the hardest thing I have gone through. Time has only helped me deal with the struggles, but yet we can't direct our path yet because we still have a couple more doctors to see. One thing..he is a 2 year old normal little boy. He's shy at times, mean at times, emotional, spoiled, energetic and smart.  And he has been learning and improving with everything. It's been a roller coaster. We want what is the very best for him, with that is why we need to at least try this diet. He is so amazing..Dallas stole my heart from day 1. I look back on everything with him.  Trying to figure things out...did I fail him somewhere? I haven't been able to nail that down..but what I know is..he is Dallas! And I love him for being exactly who he is. I believe being a good mom is pouring everything you have into your children in every single way. That means during their struggles..for life. Not just during certain times in their lives. I believe now more than ever I found exactly what I am supposed to do in this world.  I have kind of been this hidden person for the last few months. Kind of but not..you see when I have a conversation with someone who is telling me how busy they are or what they are going through..I often reflect and compare. And the compare part is not meant in a bad way.  I listen and know that it probably is a real struggle to them of course. And then I realize how much I do...in a busy week I will take Dallas to therapy 2 times a week with possibly another doctors apt for him or reese/slater.. And in those therapy sessions be a student. I really have to just sit and be educated of what's going on and what we need to do. I'm not going to lie its draining..emotionally and physically. He has good sessions and bad. I take care of the kids all day, it's cold so we try to do lots of others stuff besides watch tv. Making sure dallas has his glasses on all day, trying to get sign language or even possible words out of him for everything. Even if it means a fit because I can't give him something until I see some effort from him. Doing actives to help his motor skills (all in play form). Reese joins in on all because they like to do things together. And a lot of the time she can help and it makes her feel good too. Check and respond to cake quotes/ messages. Call to check up on all doctor appointments/ paperwork ( its a constant thing I have to do). Evaluations for him! Try to get Dallas to try new foods in play form or actually tasting in his mouth. Dinner's..baths..family time and oh all the daily care for all 3 kids :). I usually fit in while they nap (attempt to) some cake things like making fondant or baking. But on the weekends I spend my evenings after they are in bed doing all the cake stuff. I typically wake at about 4-4:30 to finish before they wake. Ehhh pretty sure I left a bunch out but I think for so long I was fighting the true fact that it is hard. A couple weeks ago Dallas and I went for another evaluation and then I had a one on one meeting with the early learning center a week later. In this meeting we went over things and discussed goals and such for Dallas. While at the meeting I was expecting it to be just very direct like most doctor appointment's. Until..I was explaining some goals and things..and she stopped and said "Jessica..can I give you a hug (with tears in her eyes)?" I of course was fighting them in mine and I knew they could both see it. She said "You are doing an amazing job...since Dallas left last week everyone has talked about how cute and how on track you are about your son. We are here to help and I know this is hard..call me anytime. You and your son have touched my heart."  I just hugged her and was in total shock really. The compassion of just someone finally accepting HOW hard this really is and telling me it IS hard and that's OK. I knew I was in the very best place for Dallas. These people are just awesome, they care and are here for the right reasons. The other lady walked me to my car and told me "you know sometimes us as parents do not know what to do in situations likes this. And it's ok you don't know everything about everything involved. We move on and do what is best and what we can to help our children.  Do not be hard on yourself..please. Because you are the type of parent we love to see. Who helps us help them and the one in need."  She too gave me her phone number. I just was so grateful, and shocked. I was so so shocked that these people cared so much. We start at this facility next week and I am happy about it. 


 I am trying just dang near everything to help Dallas :) and that's not just for this instance. That's for his life. Just as I am for Reese and Slater. No I am not perfect but I am real and I have such good intentions.  Reese has been a good help.  I will ask her if she can do certain play activities with Dallas and most the time she is happy to help.  So this New Year if anything I have a great amount of HOPE.  Jason is so helpful with all this. He has taken Dallas to the therapies as well. But often times its best to be consistent with the same parent involved.  Dallas is lucky to have a dad who has the mind set of whatever it takes, whatever he needs. We are all lucky to have eachother :)

Coffee..

  I sure hope I am not the only mom who needs about 2-3 big cups of coffee per day! I try to narrow it down and have tea in the evening. Man I feel tireeed!  Nap times are truly hard for me not to take a nap too! Ehh anyways.. today Reese beat me and the game "memory". And I really was trying. She was way better at it then me. We also put together one of her frozen puzzles, I am also terrible at that. It took forever but we did it.

Early mornings..

  Early mornings it has been so far this week! Slater is normally a very good sleeper and sleeps in past all of us. However this week 5:00am it is! He's wide awake while Jason is getting ready for work. He drinks his bottle, plays a little and snuggles a little as well..then sleepy and ready for a nap. I however feel exhausted these last couple of days. At least in the morning that is. The last couple day's have also been the first few times ( I hate to admit it) that I have let Slater cry things out. He gets very over tired and cranky. So last few days..to his bed he goes! And the couple of times I have done it, it has worked and he has fallen asleep. He is still sleeping in our room but I am thinking within the next couple of month he will be moving into sharing rooms with Dallas in his crib. He has been a great sleeper since day 1. But it's easier for now until we get him on his bed time schedule so we don't wake Dallas. Also it's just a little easier have him in our room too. We have always had very good set nap and bed times for the kids. It's time to start Slaters. Usually our kids are in bed and asleep by 8:15. Sometimes a little earlier..because our kids DO NOT sleep in. Not at all. We have tried everything to do so, so they need that earlier bed time to get the sleep they need.

  Yesterday I put together a care package for a sweet little baby named Andrew from SC.  He is a victim of child abuse (shaken baby syndrome) I follow his updates and page daily. Last night I couldn't get the little guy out of my mind before bed. I can't get over how cute he is. And also the sad sad truth that his parents want nothing to do with him. His mom allowed her BF to do this to him and doesn't care. She's only been there a few times to see him. His caring grandparents do not support her and her actions but have been there every single night for him. They are fighting hard for him, and to ensure he goes home with them. Legally they have to make it right to do so. Seeing how much they care for him, I can't imagine him getting to go home with his mom. I know he is just one victim of this terrible crime. And it something I will never ever understand. So I put a little Valentines day package together. A book, stuffed animal, chocolate's for grandparents and Reese colored him a picture. Children are a blessing and they don't make the choice to be your child. You make the choice to be there parent! I pray to god his grandparents have any easy time making it legal. And it is still very touch and go for him. GET BETTER ANDREW.

  A cold front has set in! It is beyond cold. I can't help but dread the long months we have until better weather. EHH.. But bring on the NEW YEAR! We are doing movies and snacks with the kids. We are going to let them stay up as late as the can make it :). Or me..lol I usually have to take a nap.  The only time I stay up that late is doing cakes!

 

Welcome BACCCKK!

 
  Well HELLOO! It has been over 1 year since I blogged. For a few reason's..and I am embarrassed to admit the first one but.. lol Reese deleted my blogger app a while back from my IPAD and I couldn't remember any of my login stuff. Which wasn't even that hard to figure out now from my laptop. And also we have been so busy with life. We welcomed a precious baby boy SLATER JASON FITCH. We Moved back to Tri-Cities. I started doing cakes as a in home business. Birthday parties lots and lots of doctor appointments. Some lose of relationships with family/friends and some gain of it too.  Ahh it feel's so good to blog again. My kids have grown and I am so happy to watch it. Our little baby Slater is already 6 month old. I am cherishing every moment (well trying) with him. As weird as it sounds I already have been going through baby fever. NOO! This time I have accepted yes I do have baby fever..yes I would want another little girl but NO we will not have another. I also have accepted how great it is to see the kids grow up now and just be apart of that rather then starting over. I do look forward to the day my sister has a little one (hoping for girl!) but until then I am so content and so excited for my kids. Both kids will be starting pre-school this year too. I must say being a mom of 3 is busy. Very busy. I probably haven't been the best friend or family member because of it.  It's weird, I feel like with my kids growing up we are starting yet another chapter of life. And boy has it taken a toll. I have been pretty emotional at time with it. This Christmas was awesome. I was so happy I wanted to cry. It is so awesome when kids start to get involved and do all the fun stuff. I don't care how long my kids believe in Santa. I tell Jason the longer the better. Once you grow up and stop believing in the magic it's different. Let them be kids for as long as possible is my motto.
 
  Our family will be going on vacation in May to Disneyland. We are preparing for that for the next 5 months. Also have Reese's birthday in February. Jason and I decided to skip our usual spring trip to Vegas and take the kids to Disneyland. We will be driving down and taking about 8-9 days away. My sister will be flying down and meeting us there. We are super excited for this.  Also it will be in May so just kind that beginning taste to summer. Now after the Christmas we get to go through this dreaded (well at least I do) time of year. Possibly Snow and then like 4 months of cold bad weather. We haven't had a bad winter yet, but that anticipation for the kids. They want to get outside play and do park trips.  We also plan to go camping this summer as well. It's hard with 3 kids this young. You really have to choose what you do and when. Anyone with 3 little one's would understand. But I think camping is do-able as well. Reese is much more independent and a little easier now at times. Dallas is only improving so far with that. And Slater is the who cares stage he's just a long for the ride. As long as he's fed and clean he's happy.

  Jason and I have been GOOD. We don't get many moments outside of at least always having 1 child with us. We used to have a date night sitter. But we have agreed we just aren't comfortable at this point for other than family to watch the kids. We do a lot of things after the kids are in bed. He just had almost 10 days off from work, and both the kids and I loved it. I will say I am going to make a vow to try and get a sitter for at least a few date nights coming up.  It's really hard to step out of that parenting mode. We need to. We have been dieting too! My weight loss from this last birth has been slower but steady. Also I am getting the itch to run a lot..but not sure I want to start in the dead of winter now. Jason really helps me out a lot at home. It's hard work on both our ends. He works 10 hours a day, but also comes home and is ready to help out with whatever. I also work really hard with the kids and seems to never end. But also do cakes while they sleep. I lose a lot of sleep but that's okay because if it takes less time away from family time that's the goal.