Finding the positive vibes

   As I think about my terrible last couple of days I think I finally just hit the bottom.  This is usually a good thing for me.  Why?! Because you can only go up.  It usually helps me find the positive answers I should of just thought about in the first place.  It's really been a bummer couple of days.  I will say that, but NOW time to move past it and look for some positive.  I've said this probably in numerous blogs and Jason tells me I just care too much for others who don't return the same as well as I care too much about things that I just shouldn't.  It's like I just wear my feelings on the outside and things are constantly hurting them.  I know it's an issue of mine as well as I feel like I do need to do some changing of others who I seek an "active relationship" with.  My version of active is just that ACTIVE.  Not one sided and really can communicate back in forth without it always being about them.  And in return I really hope I don't do that.  If I do I really hope the person would just tell me.  I have come to a point in my life I just really feel communication is key and am all about helping the situation. I know I constantly need to work on things and I am not perfect so if I truly have care for a relationship. I would hope both of us could come to one another.  It's hard because I didn't grow up like that.  I grew up if someone had a problem or just a positive recommendation..it turned into one sided defensiveness.  It's really a hard thing to break away from. 


  We have a nice little line up of doctor appointment's for Friday.  I also have a class tonight and some how have to work getting to the gym everyday for the rest of the week.  I haven't weighed myself since Sunday and I am thinking I will weigh in again on Monday.  Seriously hoping I have dropped at least 2lbs.  My clothes are starting to fit better, but this has been such a slower but steady process.  I have another 20lb goal by summer.  I also have not even cheated once on my diet for 2 months! I can say that! NOT one cheat..really.  I would love to cheat for our date night in on VDAY but it really just doesn't feel worth it at this point for me.  Jason also has a 4 day weekend! I love that and I only have one cake/cupcake order for this weekend.  It's a larger order but that's ok.